As with most of you, my Facebook feed is constantly filled with more articles, videos, and news alerts than I pretend I have time to click on.  Sometimes, however, my random decision to engage and click, proves incredibly fruitful leaving me with a major “YES!” or “A-ha" moment (which only reinforces my belief that there are no coincidences).

Recently, this article popped into my feed. As with most of you, fear is my biggest enemy that I feel in constant battle with. So when I saw the title, “5 Ways to Overcome Fear, Once in For All,”  I thought, "Sign me up! These MUST be the 5 things that I haven’t tried, which is why I still battle  fear."

Riiiiiight.

 

 

It turned out, that the video clip didn’t include “5 ways…” in fact, there wasn’t a list of anything. It was merely a clip of a larger video where I assume five main points were summarized. What I did find, however, was that the content of the video was perhaps the most profound way of describing fear’s effect on the self. It was Elizabeth Gilbert describing her take on fear: IT MAKES YOU BORING!

*Gasp!*  

What? I don’t understand, but I DO KNOW I DON'T WANT TO BE BORING! 

She does an incredible job, playing to our ego when it comes to fighting fear. Our ego's devilish little voice inside our head continually tells us we're not good enough, it won't' work, we'll be ridiculed, we suck, etc. 

So when she said, “Fear is the most boring thing about you” and went on to explain how it keeps us in our "box," it made total sense. It keeps us looking the same, wearing the same clothes, and having the same boring conversations when it couldn’t be further from who we are and what we want.  Why? Because perhaps we feel if we don’t look or act a certain way, we’ll be judged, shunned, laughed at or gossiped about. But in reality, looking differently, speaking differently, dancing wildly when everyone is side-stepping - those are in fact the things about you that make you interesting. If those around you don’t appreciate your uniqueness, it’s time for a new circle. Be yourself, the tribe will come.

When I was in my early 20s my friends and I would say, "There will always be girls prettier than us, but we will always be more fun." It was our affirmation to each other that we fully supported each other's outrageousness. It gets harder the older we get, for sure. Outrageous isn't as accepted (or excused) the more "adult" we become. That doesn't mean we can't still find our own uniqueness in our day to day lives. 

My TWO glitter microphones that I keep in the passenger side door of my car has won the affection of most - if not all- those who ride with me. New riders are typically taken aback at first and question such a spectacular item and its use. I just grab one and say *jokingly annoyed* "What do you think it's for?" and I turn up the radio really loud so we can get down to business: the business of channeling our inner Beyonce, Mariah or Elton John.  I may not have the coolest car, but it will always be the most fun. 

So what is it about you that you are hiding or suppressing?  Do you wear skinny jeans when you really wish you were wearing bell bottoms? Do you work in a job you secretly hate because it looks good from the outside? Do you claim to watch sports when all you do is watch reality TV? Who cares?! Own it.

I’m sure there’s something you currently do that is out of the box? What is it? I seriously want to know (really, comment below). It can be anything that you do or have that’s not common. Use that as momentum to take more steps - baby steps - to other actions that are authentically YOU.

“Don’t go with the flow. Be the flow.”  - Shams of Tabriz, Forty Rules of Love

It doesn't happen over night. If you're about quick fixes, I'm sure there's a snake oil you can buy to rid yourself of fear out there. What I have found over and over again, is you need to stare that shit down and say, "No. Not today," and DO IT.  The more and more steps you take doing what is uncomfortable, it becomes easier and easier and before you know it, you'll be living as your most authentic self. Let's be real, that's what the world really needs anyway.

 fear is the most boring thing about you

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